What would you say, if you could?

My dad is just as stubborn as always. When I first confronted him, of course he apologized and cried (tears purely out of self-pity). This happened a few weeks ago, and at the time, I wasn't really ready.

But now, if I had another chance to speak to him, which I could easily get, what would I even say to him? He knows I'm hurt, I already expressed that to him. I suppose I would call him out on his choice of church again.

The crazy thing is, when we tried to get him to come to our Presbyterian church, we used Biblical logic. We showed him the passages in the Bible that supported our particular dogma, and passages that refuted his church's. Whenever he was backed into a corner, of course he got defensive. And he would just say, "Well, I have to study that passage some more. I'll get back to you." He never got back to us. We're still waiting for a response to Romans 8 from 12 months ago.

He just CAN'T be wrong. And he's so sure that he's right, he won't even bother proving it to himself or us. It's not worth his time investigating, because there isn't a chance in the world that he's wrong. It'd be a waste of time for him to actually argue his case.

And that leaves me with this question: what would I say to him? Logic doesn't work. He isn't empathetic to my emotions. If logic and emotional pleas are beyond him, then what is left? An act of God, I suppose. God could change my father, but will he? I can't assume that He will. Or perhaps my dad's own will. But that looks grim, because if he's always right, then he won't second guess himself long enough to change his mind. Especially if that means he was wrong at some point. I don't know how he'd be able to admit he was wrong. That seems beyond his capabilities.

What would you say to a narcissist, to explain to them all they have done and still do to hurt you? I suppose as long as you are talking about them, and the way they have hurt you, it doesn't matter what you say. They'll love the attention, but hate the accusations. They'd feel conflicted over whether they want the attention to stop or the attacking to continue. I guess they'd redirect it to myself, and how horrible I am. That's what he does.

What's really sick is this odd relationship he has with "Smith," his friend who lives too far from a Plymouth Bretheren church to regularly attend on Sunday mornings. Because we use comcast email, we are able to read the emails he sends. It's two-way, of course, but we don't have anything to hide.

Anyway, in an email that we... um... *liberated* it became increasingly clear how far gone both of these men are. It's like, "Smith" is another narcissist, and they are feeding each other's narcissistic needs. My mom and I sort of suspected a homosexual relationship forming, which would certainly be another nail in the coffin of my parents' marriage, but now I am suspecting a duel narcissistic feeding session.

It was almost as if my dad was writing himself back and forth in the email. They agreed on everything, praised each other and themselves for being in the right, and for being such godly Christian men, and you could practically hear them high-fiving through the computer screen. It was disgusting. I believe hipsters use the word "Bromance" to describe the closeness between two straight men. However, this is beyond that. It's like they were one person, divided into two. I guess this brings me back to the image of Voldemort's torn pieces of soul. Here are two matching pieces.

And this only brings more worry and fury into our lives. I guess that's what we get for snooping. I mean, honestly, what were the chances of reading something positive?

But what are the chances that my dad will change if he has the support of another narcissist, telling him that "of course you are right, brother" and "I will pray for your family to let go of their sinful resentment" and all of this. How is he going to realize how wrong his thought process is if someone is feeding it? Is it completely hopeless?

Probably. I guess it's impossible to know the future, but the signs are pretty darn clear.